


Broken

by Audrea_Lannistark



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3981265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Audrea_Lannistark/pseuds/Audrea_Lannistark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks so much for reading! This is my first fanfic on AO3.</p><p>Thank you to Fangirling Princess Sara #staystrong for writing John's part. You can reach her tumblr here: musicbug32.tumblr.com</p>
    </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! This is my first fanfic on AO3.
> 
> Thank you to Fangirling Princess Sara #staystrong for writing John's part. You can reach her tumblr here: musicbug32.tumblr.com

“Sherlock, the nightmare was bad. I- I don't know what else to say.”

 

Sherlock stroked John's soft sandy hair. "Shh, shh. It's alright. What was it about?"

 

"Sherlock, I saw you and everyone else dying. I watched you, Mrs. Hudson, Greg, and Mycroft die. I re-watched all of my comrades die, and I couldn't help any of them." John nuzzled his face into Sherlock's chest, slightly embarrassed to be telling him this. He should be strong.

 

"Oh, John." Sherlock pulled John closely and pulled his coat around then both. "It's alright, I'm here." He shouldn’t dare tell John about his nightmare, not when John was already feeling broken.

 

"Sherlock," John's voice cracks, "I- I'm scared..."

 

"I'm sorry, Sherlock." John whispers quietly.

 

Sherlock had tried his whole life to separate himself from his emotions, but ever since he met John, that had all changed. He pulled John close and kissed him. It was soft and romantic, but he had only kissed John once before, and even that was for a case. Sensing John's awkwardness, he pulled away immediately. "I-I'm sorry..."

 

John was shocked, seeing as he didn't think Sherlock was capable of love. There were tears falling down John's face as he kissed Sherlock back, then ran into his own room, embarrassed and slightly scared.

Sherlock nervously followed John and lightly pushed open John's bedroom door. "Are you alright?

 

John was lying on his bed, his face in his pillow, and he shook his head lightly. "No, Sherlock, I'm not."

 

Sherlock sat beside John and kissed him again. They were steadier, more sure this time. He hugged John, who began to drift into sleep. John's soft snoring combined with the rain pattering on the window made Sherlock sleepy, until he too drifted off. The pair was only wakened by a knock on the door.

 

"THIS IS A DRUGS BUST!" John and Sherlock hear Lestrade yell from outside. The door bursts open, and light floods the room. "Look at you two!" Donovan laughs. Anderson ran in, a bag of dinosaur gummy candies in his hand. As soon as he saw the pair, he burst out into laughter and started choking on his gummies.

 

"GET OUT!" John yelled at everyone. John slammed the door in their faces. Then he turned to Sherlock.

 

"Are you doing drugs again?"

 

"No. Mycroft must have figured I was because I have been acting weird and slightly shaky, when really I was just attempting to prepare myself to kiss you..." His sentence trailed off, leaving him pink in the face. John walked back over to him, and tried to give him a hug, but Sherlock winced.

 

Sherlock ran into his room, then slammed the door and locked it. He swept away all signs of his misery--needles, knives, and blood-soaked tissues, and then started crying. Between Magnussen and Moriarty, he was broken. And now that he knew he had John, it was just another person to protect. Irene. Molly. Now John. How much did he have to lose? How many more? How many more until he could quit, quit all this, and fall in love?

 

"Sherlock!" John yelled from outside "What's wrong, Sherlock?" When he heard no response, John took out his lock pick and opened Sherlock's door. As soon as he entered the room, John saw needles, razors, knives, pills, and much more shoved into a corner. Then he saw Sherlock. He was in a corner, bawling his eyes out, broken and in need of a friend. John hugged him and whispered into his ear, "Sherlock, please don't do this. I don't want you to do this."

 

"John, I have to. I'm hurting. I'm hurting and miserable and I don't know who I am anymore. They did this to me. They broke me, and John, I can't fix myself. It's too late for me, but there's still hope for you. Leave. Leave now. I can't let them get to you. I can't let them break you..." Sherlock collapsed in John's arms, sobbing.

 

John stroked Sherlock's curly black hair. "Sherlock, if you can't fix yourself, then I'll try to fix you. I'm staying. Not going anywhere. I'm your friend. I'll stick with you." John drags Sherlock into a big hug and doesn't let go for a long time.”

 

"They won't break me, Sherlock. I'm already broken..." John whispers quietly, so Sherlock can only just hear him.

 

Sherlock looked up at John, and John can now see the pain in his eyes. "John, save yourself."

 

John speaks quietly. "No, Sherlock. I need you, and you need me. I'm never going to leave you." 


End file.
